


Not Tonight

by durinsreign



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Dreams and Nightmares, Emotional Hurt, Established Relationship, Grief/Mourning, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, M/M, Reminiscing, Sorry Not Sorry, just pain
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-05
Updated: 2020-04-05
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:47:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23491936
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/durinsreign/pseuds/durinsreign
Summary: He started to cry, reaching an arm toward the elf in the distance, wishing so desperately that he could muster up the last of his strength to scream out to him. He only wanted to touch him again, only wanted to feel safe again.
Relationships: Kíli/Legolas Greenleaf
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	Not Tonight

**Author's Note:**

> For Fili Gang xx

———————

Kili felt the orc blade slide right through him. The blunt tip twisted and inched into his body almost painfully slow, and he could feel _all_ of it. The blade tore through his lung and pushed at his organs, yet all he could do was gasp like a fish out of water. Finally, it broke the skin a second time and that's when he had really been impaled. 

Kili looked down in shock at the bloodied point of an orc’s blade protruding from his torso. The battle around them had ceased, or at least slowed, as the sword was yanked from him. A cry, at last, had freed itself from Kili’s throat, and he doubled over, clutching his wound as if there wasn't another in his back. 

His blood had been rushing. By now, he was full of adrenaline and craze and bloodlust and fear. But he didn't know which one had taken over, because the next thing he saw when he came to was a valley of corpses all around him. His high was wearing off and the soreness in his side had begun to make itself known. 

How long had he been bleeding? 

The dwarf staggered around, searching for his love, searching for Legolas. If this was to be the last time he would walk Arda, then he wanted his final breath to be in the arms of his husband. His husband, that had made a lasting effort to assure him that it was okay if he was mortal. His husband, who cradled him at night and whispered sweet nothings after a long day. Perfect promises that they both knew could never happen, but nevertheless fantasized like it would. 

He would get none of that, now. He was dying. Kili was dying, and he didn't even know if Legolas was alive.

A flicker of neutral greens hopped around in front of him, the figure was tall and lean and blond, picking arrows from deceased enemies, and inspecting them in the fading sunlight. Kili opened his mouth, but nothing but a wheeze escaped his dry lips. He started to cry, reaching an arm toward the elf in the distance, wishing so desperately that he could muster up the last of his strength to scream out to him. He only wanted to touch him again, only wanted to feel safe again. 

But Legolas turned his head and Kili watched him freeze. It felt like hours, agonizingly long _hours_. 

Kili blinked, slow and drowsy, and Legolas was there. He blinked again and he wasn't. Then again, and there he was. Once more, and he was gone again. Kili’s eyes pooled and filled to the brim with hot, salty tears. They fell and took with them the blood of his victims, and all hope for warmth.

He pressed his eyes shut, mostly for the ache in his lung, and looked up. Legolas was running toward him with his arms out like he would catch him. Kili pushed toward him, closer, closer, closer, and then fell against air. Because Legolas wasn't there, and he was alone, sitting among the bodies of friends and foes.

Kili opened his mouth again, but this time a shriek, pained and loud, erupted from his throat, and he fell back into his own pool of sweat. His gasps tore at his throat, air being pulled in and pushed back out violently. 

When Kili reached beside himself, he felt nothing but the cold sheets of a space once occupied by his love, his light, and greatest star. It had been years, but Kili _missed_ him just as much as he did the first night alone, and he would for the rest of his life. 

He missed his arms around him as they slept; the elf's long, light hair draping over his shoulders, tickling the skin with silky strands. He missed kissing him, and holding his hand; they would always compare hands, just to laugh at the difference. But most of all, Kili missed his presence. _Knowing_ Legolas was there, knowing he was alive, knowing he would come home any day then. 

He wished it could have been like that; simply waiting for his husband to return from an adventure.

But Legolas had been dead for almost a century and he would need to accept it. Just... not tonight. 

———————

**Author's Note:**

> Comments appreciated!!


End file.
